What does a healthy relationship mean to you?

How do you treat your body? What do you say to it? How do you control and obsess over food? I have a sense we wouldn’t want to be friends with you if you treated us like this, so why do we speak to ourselves this way?

This concept hit me deeply two years ago when I was honored to see Mariah speak. Mariah has experienced ALS for the last 35 years. She spoke to over a hundred of us and there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd.

This is how I remember her speech. “If I was walking side by side with you, and EVERY thought that went through your head you shared with me, she paused, and said so calmly without any judgement, “I bet I wouldn’t have a very good day”. The crowd sighed and you could feel the sadness, yet relief in the air. I felt this so deeply and instantly thought how dare I hurt her with my negative thoughts and wanted to protect her. But why do I continue to hurt and not protect myself?

Correspondence with a recent client brought this subject up again. She was creating a new perspective with how she treats and relates to food and her body.

“Just think of the relationship you have with food and your body is EXACTLY how you would want someone else to treat you or how you want to treat others. Who wants to be in a controlled, obsessive, judgmental, aloof, unconscious, distracted relationship? Not this girl! 
What if we focus on the bigger picture vs. diagnosing or chasing after the fires (because there are ALWAYS fires:) ha ha
All that you are doing with food is creating a healthy relationship that I WOULD want to be in with you:) or you with me. A more curious, open, objective, non-judgmental, compassionate and conscious relationship. 
I love all the changes you have made and most of all your mind set around this has dramatically changed and that is the most important!” 


We tend to have negative self-talk because we don’t feel safe, supported or trusting. We “should” all over ourselves and create sabotages that keep us from feeling connected. Try to approach your nutrition from a more creative and curious mind-set. If you are constantly in your logical brain, toss the recipe books to the side over the weekend and be creative in the kitchen. Allow your creative juices to flow and tune in what makes you feel more content and connected. We usually all choose healthy foods from this scenario, it is when the stress comes in that we want those less supportive foods.

I have been recently doing some fun kitchen videos to portray this type of healthy and conscious relationship. I am the MOST imperfect cook and do not desire to be an all or none nutritionist. So, I am having a blast spreading reality, intuition, and nourishment. Check out my youtube channel below and please subscribe if you are enjoying the content.

To learn more about how to create a loving relationship with yourself, please join Mariah, the team and me in Ojai, California this March for  the “Arrive Already Loved” Event.

This is another dream come true for me. Mariah is a mentor and angel in my life. When they called to invite me, I thought they just needed a ride from the airport. Now, here I am a guest presenter in one of my favorite places in the world with people I love and admire. (That self talk is a hoot)

March 5-10, 2017 At Meditation Mount in Ojai, California
Sunday at 7:30pm, through Friday at 1:00pm
Register at http://gestaltcenter.com/Calendar/event_details/aalholistic.htm

See you in Ojai!

Heather Dawn Fleming, C.C.N

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