We are wrapping up this year and I am declaring 2019, the year to be CLEAR and KIND (Thanks to Brené Brown’s work). Kind to others and especially ourselves. If you are shaming yourself over your actions or lack of action last year, what you ate or any other negative self talk, I want to support you to shift less of this type of consumption in your life.
Very few of us had a childhood where we could unbashfully express our needs and emotions freely and were completely accepted for who we are. Most of us may have experienced our childhood a bit differently. Maybe you were told, you are better seen than heard, who do you think you are, your needs and wants don’t matter because _________ (no $, time, patience), big boys and big girls don’t cry, or you should be ashamed for acting like that….
You may be asking what does this have to do with food and nutrition? Have any of you ever ate your emotions? Yep, I have. These childhood feelings were suppressed and pushed down super deep. No wonder we are all looking for something to CONSUME, to fix, heal, support and help us feel loved.
As an emotional represser who was a practicing perfectionist and then became a clinical nutritionist, I was F**Ked!
Until the day I started to take my power back, by feeling my emotions and started trusting myself and body on what I NEEDED to feed it. Nutritious food became complicated because of processing and preservatives in our food, fad diets, the medical system and way to many experts confusing everyone. The day I realized I wanted to become the expert of my body and teach others to be their own guru was pure bliss. Have you heard when people have those a-ha moments and everything becomes clear, I had one. I was working at an Integrative wellness office and immersed in nutritional science. I decided to try my first fast for 36 hours, not really knowing what I was doing, I knew it just felt right. As I was washing everyone’s dishes to keep me busy from eating so I could really feel my body, I had an epiphany. Food isn’t wrong. Our relationship, projection and addiction to control (which is not wanting to feel our feelings) is the problem.
I LOVE food! I love the art of cooking and creating a concoction that fulfill my own or my friend’s cravings and needs. The gift of understanding nutritional science helps me with this along with understanding my emotional shit storms! I have this amazing voice of control I can hear in my head when I am not supporting my needs. I call her my REBEL:) What she wants is a hoot. Some mornings, she will want wine! WHAT, wine (aka sugar) and this makes no logical sense. I use to berate, judge, repress, ignore and control her. Guess how that worked out for me? Not good. Don’t worry I didn’t drink the wine every time:)
Now, when she is screaming and craving sugar, I start talking to myself and these are the three tips I want to share with you that can support you to connect with your voices and feelings:
- Oh baby, I hear you. Do you sometimes NOT feel heard, respected, appreciated or valued in your life? YEP, I bet we can all relate to this. Now is the time to value and take care of yourself. Let’s start with compassionate acknowledgement of your thoughts and feelings versus some of the other abusive words you have heard from others or have said to yourself. Start with a pause and relax your mind as you console yourself like you would a baby.
- What do you truly need? It is usually something SO simple! Some examples I have discovered for myself are: honey in my tea, a good cry, call a friend, a big and nourishing breakfast, FRUIT, veggie juice, extra lemon in my water or an extra Big Whole-Food Smoothie (GREAT recipes during the 3-week RESET).
- Book CHAMPAGNE brunch with my friends immediately: My REBEL is super mad because I have been working too hard, am in need of more social time, laughter and to LIGHTEN up. *Author’s note: I wanted to use WAY more curse words in this sentence, but I too am practicing my balance with cussing while loving my rebel:)
There are amazing people out there (and they could be judging me right now:) that are super disciplined with their emotions and food intake. I use to admire them and tried so hard to be like them. If I can just have one value to believe in, it would be this; we are emotional beings and suppressed emotions, FESTER. If they don’t show up in your food choices or “weight”, they can show up in your relationships, finances, negative self-talk, health issues and dis-ease.
These 3-Steps are here to help us navigate so much more of ourselves besides food management. It is all about self-awareness and true connection.
Step 1: FEEL: Now is the time to FEEL. To be brave and see what comes up. Have you ever been so scared to feel an emotion? Right after I felt a super scary emotion that I really thought would kill me, I had the biggest craving for Mac-n-Cheese. So, I got to practice my talk. I took heaps of deep breaths, hydrated with herbal tea, went for a long walk in nature, THEN ate Mac-n-Cheese from a place I trusted and LOVED every bite of it.
Taking the 5 deep breaths calms our nervous system, which is the system that sends message to your organs and throughout your body. The oxygen will help your cells repair and balance your hormones.
Step 2: MEAL: There are so many diets out there that focus on what NOT to eat. Instead, I want you to discover your body’s unique rhythms by experimenting with different the four different Meal Types I created from the Conscious Nutrition Food Tree.
This is my personal, general breakdown of how many of each Meal Type that works for my body per week. (using 21 meals a week for my formula)
- Protein Meals: 6 ish (3 Vegetarian proteins and 3 Fishy’s, one chicken meal a month or so)
- Starch Meals: 6 ish (LOVE Squash, taters, quinoa)
- Combined Meals: 3-5 ish (I eat a combined meal every other day or more often if I am swimming a lot or a bit more stressed)
- Vegan Meals: 4 ish (This Meal Type helps my body recalibrate from stress or any feelings of congestion)
Practicing and rotating these Meal Types is a great way for you to understand your body and how it functions more efficiently. During the 3-week RESET, starting January 14th, we support you in discovering your personal breakdown!
Step 3: HEAL: Now as a conscious emotional eater, you will notice how your digestion works more often than not, your sleep is deeper, you are more responsive versus reactive in your life. Always do a body scan first thing in the morning to observe any clues your body could be telling you. And as you scan, watch those thoughts. Are you speaking kindly to yourself?
These 3-Steps will help you stay connected to your body as you experiment with what foods and timing works best for you!
We suggest you download, print and hang it on your fridge or save the image and have it ready for you on your mobile device.
Over the next couple of weeks, we will be sharing more tips, scientific research and guidance to help you break down the 3-steps and apply them to your life.
Heather Fleming, C.C .N.
P.S. I am so excited to share my upgraded version of the RESET! I have made it more nutritious and easier to follow! Join me for a FREE Facebook Live on my Conscious Nutrition page on January 7th @ 5 pm PST to learn more about it!
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Thank you for receiving our musings and I hope you feel nourished!