Is it failure or feedback?

At this time of year, many of us are implementing more goals, structure, and systems. Are these systems supporting us to assess feedback and progress or are they setting us up for failure and perfection? (Notice how failure and perfection can go hand in hand)

I suggest to many of my clients not to look at a scale for the first month or so of their program, and sometimes we just keep gentle walking or exercise vs intense training in their routine until their inflammation and disease symptoms decrease.  So if we are not focusing on these two measurable activities, how do we assess their progress?

One of my favorite stories I like to share is a client after her first week said she slept through the night for the first time in 30 years, jumped out of bed with energy, didn’t crave sugar for a week, and in the same breath mentioned that she hasn’t noticed anything or weight loss yet. As I picked my jaw off the ground and waited for her to catch her comment, I gathered myself and said, “Well, don’t you think all of these things need to come first before your body is able to release the weight?”.  One of my new clients from the new year sign up, just mentioned how she hasn’t woke up smiling for as long as she can remember until now.

A client who has suffered with major digestive issues brought this perspective shift to my attention. She said, when she was implementing changes, she was becoming so frustrated that she wasn’t perfect yet, and she kept missing the feedback her body was showing her to take the next step toward healing.

How do you react when you feel like you have failed?

  • Do you become isolated and overwhelmed? (my go to)
  • Do you lash out at loved ones?
  • Do you head to one of your addictive coping mechanisms such as shopping, binge on sugar, negative self talk, or any other humanness thing you may do?
  • Do you go on autopilot and just try to get through the day?
  • Do you quit or become obsessive and go into overdrive?

Tuning in is the skill of becoming more aware, more sensitive and responsive to your body.–Deepak Chopra

Your body has an amazing capacity to correct itself. To begin this process, you need to feel comfortable in your body. There has to be a basic connection that isn’t blocked by guilt, shame, and discomfort.

If we have felt like we have failed how can we add in more compassion to take a step toward healthy feedback? How do you tune in to your body to feel connected?

  • Daily Meditation practice
  • Call a friend
  • Make a self-care appointment such as massage, acupuncture, counseling or a comedy club.
  • Volunteer to a cause that fills your heart.
  • Tune into the feeling of your goals versus the magnitude of the how’s.
  • Put on an outfit that makes you feel great about yourself
  • Stare at yourself naked in the mirror and thank your beautiful body for ALL it does for you.

As you develop this connected behavior, I HIGHLY recommend to journal. This journal is not a task oriented journal, however a journal where you understand more of your own unique and natural rhythms. For example when I start craving dark meat chicken, I know my minerals may be a bit low, or I don’t feel grounded. Before I go grab the chicken, I implement other support tools to help me feel grounded, up my water, and grab some extra B-vitamins. Instead of feeling disempowered or feeling your body is against you, try aligning with it and work together.

Here is a sample journal I use with my clients. They send their information to me daily and get my amazing, positive feedback:)


If you would like to uncover more of your what is and isn’t working for you, please email me to set up a time to discuss your goals and see if we are a good fit.

Stay fed,

Heather Fleming, C.C.N


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