You Can’t Lose Weight Until You Stop Gaining

A big thank you to Angela G. for this amazing quote!

One of my clients just casually mentioned this one day at our meeting. This is an amazing insight. We all tend to panic when we feel our jeans become tighter or when see ourselves in the reflection on a side of a building. Instead of practicing compassion and self love, we jump to the negative and berate ourselves for not being good enough.

There are so many variables that align to create the perfect storm to either gain or lose weight. What if we start to think that if we can gain, we can lose? Instead of falling down the rabbit hole of self sabotage, we take our power back and reflect even more of what really is going on in our lives.

Main issues that cause weight gain:

  1. STRESS Hormones! (Another blog about this topic coming soon)
  2.  Emotional stress & traumatic life events
  3. Financial & Relationship stress
  4. Your beliefs and rules about what is good or bad for you and the constant struggle
  5. Resistance to change & doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results
  6. Malnourishing your body by not receiving the nutrients your organs need

Main issues that cause weight loss:

  1. Balanced STRESS Hormones! Tools to help you balance stress.
  2. Positive emotions toward yourself and others
  3. Feeling supported financially and emotionally
  4. Nourishing your body correctly through mindfully eating, self care practices, and meditation
  5. Implement movement and exercise effortlessly in your life
  6. Less resistance to change and excited to experiment with positive lifestyle options

The word resistant comes up often in my work. We are creatures of habit and enjoy our comforts and treats. Many of your habits are supporting your healthy lifestyle, while some of them may be challenging you and causing more resistance and conflict throughout your day.

I had the “perfect storm” happen last year. Had many loved ones pass away, a nomad lifestyle, financial challenges, and a BIG birthday that gave me a new set of hormones. I felt humbled. My “old” way of taking this on, wasn’t working. I was a new person after all of these experiences. I had to develop a more compassionate way of approaching this situation. We can NOT beat ourselves up to become healthy. This experience has definitely changed me and the way I approach my business and coaching. If you want me to be hard on you, I am NOT your girl. If you want me to hold the space and help guide you to a deeper understanding, Holler:)

Can we change resistance to discernment?

Before we say yes or no, take a minute to really feel if what you are choosing is supporting you.

For example, before you schedule your exercise for the day, feel what your body truly needs. Do you need intensive training, a lighter work-out, or do you need a 10 minute visualization with the activity to help your nervous system relax first? We can also do this with food. Before you have chocolate or sugar for breakfast 🙂 Ask yourself, do I need water, or I will eat a full breakfast first and then see if I desire the chocolate? Or does a piece of dark chocolate with my tea feel satiating. It isn’t always about compromise but maybe at that time of day, a trade off.

If you notice through out the day you have “flare ups”; sugar cravings, major drop in energy, moodiness, bloated feeling, you are in a state of conflict.

What to do:

  1. STOP: Take the designated 5 deep breaths.
  2. Note what triggered the flare up; thoughts, food, miscommunication, something you haven’t eaten yet, time on your computer or electronics, an uncomfortable conversation you need to have with someone, shame, and fear of losing control?
  3. Nourish yourself: Oxygen (the breaths, rest, close your eyes, walk in nature), Hydrate (water, herbal tea with coconut oil, coconut water, Kombucha) NOURISHMENT (a snack, or it may be time for a meal)
  4. And ask yourself what you truly want & desire. This question is very difficult for many people. We are not trained as children and adults to ask for what we want. Day to day life can cause stress and you can forget that all you really wanted was quality time with your family or friends, and you haven’t had any for days.

Have it ALL!

Speaking of desires and how we can have it all, I was interviewed by this amazing woman, Christy Whitman. She found me through Amazon from my book, “The Have it ALL Diet”. (Now the Conscious Nutrition Program) She too believes we can Have it ALL! I remember one day being so frustrated with all the “rules” of nutrition, and said these words “I believe we can have it all, as long as we are paying attention to our bodies in the present moment”.

With mindfulness, compassion and self-love, I too believe we can live the life of our dreams. The interview was last year and I resonate with most of what I said. If I could add one thing, it would be feeling the resistance vs. ignoring it. Working on that now, so more of what we desire can come in to my life.

Blessings to having it all,
Heather Fleming

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