If I am approaching life from how well I accomplish results, then I failed big time this weekend! I went to Vegas to face a fear of singing out of tune. I was the first person they chose to come on stage to over come it. The fear came up in my chest and I couldn’t do it and I let another woman go ahead of me. Am I kicking myself or am I going to allow myself to learn from this? Right now, still a bit of both:)
Perfectionism and accomplishment run in our veins. We may have only been rewarded if it was done right or if it met other people’s standards. How many people say starting Monday I will begin my program, or once I get this sorted I will start this endeavor. If you can’t do it perfectly you don’t even begin. However, if we are so focused on the result, we are not aware of what we are feeling or learning from the experience. One of my favorite stories was a new client said on her second week of practicing her program, “I jumped out of bed today with tons of energy after sleeping through the night for the first time in 20 years, had my protein shake and still feel satisfied, so when am I going to notice results?” It took me a minute because I thought she was joking, but she was so focused on the scale and old reward patterns that she missed all of the positive affirmations in the second week of her making gentle changes.
So many diet programs are set up to be result oriented. With this mind set, we can feel frustrated or feel like we have failed. Even Weight Watchers has changed it up a bit this year, they are focusing on what is inside of you reflects your outside. Phew. This shift in awareness is going to help us sort what is truly holding us back and feel the whole emotion instead of just pushing through, looking at the scale for approval, or just counting points.
How many of you have heard these sayings; “Toughen up”, “Just get over it”, “You are weak if you don’t do it”,
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. The leader of my singing seminar, Per Bristow, actually said, “What bad experiences you have makes you weaker”. That is what held me back from going on stage. I felt the shame of people telling me and me believing I was a bad singer my whole life, and I couldn’t do it. (This time anyways):) So, what could look like a ‘failure’ may actually be a success, only time, self-compassion and awareness will allow this to unveil.
What bad experiences are holding you back from taking the next step? If we do not have the intention to keep learning then we are only holding ourselves back.
How to approach your nutrition process:
- Think of yourself taking a beginning nutrition class. Do not compare yourself to others, you are the most important common denominator and you are studying yourself.
- JOURNAL. Think of this journal as a compilation of information regarding a day in the life of you. If you have been ruminating about something, write it down and describe what is the best or worst outcome for this situation. For example, “I will never lose weight”. Best outcome, you will. Worst outcome, you won’t. How is your life going to change with either outcome, let it spill out and see what is really your fear. Here is our sample journal to help you begin: CN Blank Journal Day!!!
- Try new things. If you like to control things, this will be a bit more difficult and may be exactly what you need. I personally thrive on change and experimenting with my own programs with different twists. Set yourself and your family up for mini-challenges by trying a new vegetable every week, or a new recipe, go to a farmer’s market or volunteer at a community garden. Shake it up. If you are ready for a 3-week experiment, join us for the Conscious Nutrition RESET program on February 8th.
- Be kind to yourself. Be careful of those ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts), they sneak in ALL the time. Add more positive and compassionate practices in your life, follow positive blogs (Check out the Life Sherpa, David Fugel), positive TV shows and movies, keep it light and joyful.
- Allow Life to Flow: When I over react to life, it usually causes me stress, however when I am the observer and respond to life, I find WAY more joy. If you try to control your day with too much structure, appointments, errands and commitments, you tend to not have time to really do what you feel and what is important for you. Keep taking breaths and stay present IN YOUR body. This is the new safe place to be.
Enjoy your process,
Heather Fleming, future singer superstar, C.C.N.