Are repetitive “shoulding” thoughts your kryptonite?

I should be more productive. I should weigh myself every morning. Starting Monday, I will start eating ‘cleaner’.
When I was an obsessive ‘shoulder’, I hardly had any pleasure or joy in my life. I was constantly obsessing on how to be better. These obsessive thoughts were completely distracting me from feelings and emotions.
If we want to live in more coherence, truth, and awareness, we may want to better understand what is going on in our own inner universe.
How many different stories from your past do you re-tell yourself every day around food?
I shouldn’t eat this because I read an article 5 years ago that told me not to.
I should have more willpower to lose weight.
The repetitive thoughts control our actions from day to day.
During one of the most stressful times of my life, I was at my ‘goal weight’. However, I was trapped in self-righteousness, anxiety, hurt and numbness. As you can see those emotions are at the constrictive end of Coach Emily’s Emotional Fluency scale.
Now, a bit fuller, but way flipping happier, my life is more in the green and expansive stairs.
The way to reduce the ‘shoulding’ is to dive into what underlying emotion is not being addressed.
For example, you feel guilty after eating something. Pause and check in what else is causing disappointment and sadness? I sense the guilt is getting transferred. If you recall from last month’s blog, we can shift our stomach hormone, ghrelin by shifting our feelings around what we ate. This hormone is in charge of our weight set point.
How to reduce the should?
Let’s use this example: I am never going to get to my goal weight again.
1. The first step is to neutralize the charge around the story you are repeating. Simply ask: Is this true? And take a moment to see which emotion shows up most from the scale above.
2. Next, where do you feel this emotion in your body? Is this the area you tend to hold onto weight? Do you feel aches and pains there? Stay connected to this area and try taking 5 deep, slow breaths. This is a lifelong practice.
3. Then, how would your life be different if this shoulding thought was not true? Woah. Take a moment, read that again and digest it:)
When we take the charge out of this repetitive thought being just about the food or the goal, then we can climb up to the feelings of love, hope and well-being.
Join me for our one-week Summer Appetizer course. Besides discussing food, we will be addressing our emotions and feelings that come up when we try to change our behavior.
We will EASE-in with the Conscious Nutrition philosophy and tips, then experiment with one day of Intermittent Fasting. I believe in organically Intermittent Fast. There will be certain cues your body is giving you to take a break.
We are set to begin on Tuesday, July 20th and I’d be honored if you’d join me for it.
- We meet every other day for one week to help you unravel some of the constrictive feelings.
- We reduce a few foods to observe how our inner Rebel and body respond.
- We will experiment with understanding certain cues and naturally choose one day to Intermittent Fasting.
- You will take away heaps of nutrition tips that will support your flow and glow!
- All videos and calls are recorded for your listening convenience.
- Access to the materials for 3 months.
P.S. Head over to my complementary Facebook Group for a Q&A session before the course.
P.S.S.
I have done a couple of promotional videos for the upcoming Superfood Garden Summit.
You’ll discover how to grow exciting greens chock full of exciting, new flavors plus a dozen more superfoods that all contribute to your health and vitality.
Click here to claim your spot at the Superfood Garden Summit
RESET smoothie below:
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See you over at the summit!
with abundant nourishment,
Heather Fleming, C.C.N. Conscious. Compassion. Nutrition.